Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Blog the First

READER: Because you have arrived here while rambling through the vast interweb, you may have been searching for intelligent questions with intriguing answers. You may have been searching for previously unknown insights on the human condition. You may have been searching for something entirely unknown to you. If you are, you're an esoteric bastard. If you continue to read I'll make fun of you.

I often find myself thinking about the things that happen to me and wishing I could write them down somewhere. This is what this blog is about. It will be my random thoughts, observations and emotions regarding everything from politics to movie reviews to skiing; I will simply write when I find something in my life interesting enough to share. Because nothing interesting comes to mind at the moment, I will give you some background info on myself so as to help you understand where I am coming from when you read my blog.

My name is Jeff Engelhardt. I am a 21 year-old Industrial Design student at the University of Cincinnati's College of Design, Architechture, Art and Planning (DAAP.) I have lived in the Cincinnati area my entire life, having been born in St. Bernard and, when I was four, moved across the border to Hidden Valley Lake, IN. I lead an active lifestyle. I have played sports since I was just a wittle guy, and I am constantly looking for any way to achieve the classic ideal of arete.

Skiing and movies tend to dominate my thoughts, so expect to see quite a few posts about said topics. Until I have the urge to share my experiences with you again, I will leave you with my "About Me" section from my Facebook page, written my freshman year of college.

I look for art in all aspects of life: an intricate sculpture, a classic film, lightening bugs dancing in the grass, music that inspires dance, poetry that inspires tears, the perfectly turned double-play, taking the first scoop from a jar of peanut butter, not having to wear glasses, snowfall, boobs, skiing dreams, calluses on my hands, scars, counting the number of people that are having orgasms at a certain moment, whips, drinking three-quarters of a bottle of bourbon and not waking up with a hangover, drinking too much whisky and puking/passing out for three hours, freshly cut grass, having poo come out all in one piece resembling a constrictor of some sort, Hitler Stalin and Walter O'Malley, The horror...The horror, iPods, sitting around in a pile of your own shit and piss reading Guns and Ammo and then all of the sudden realizing, "Man, I am f**king crazy", feeling comfortable by labeling people, smelling a baseball glove, 42, breaking glass, breaking wind, making half a dozen allusions (can you find all six?) in a really messed up "about me" section, and Homer Simpson.

And now for something completely different...

Expecting me to end with bang? Well, too bad. You get a whimper.
My name is Jeffrey Steven Engelhardt; I'm a bastard.

P.S. I am well aware of the fact that I repeatedly used the word "you" in this entry. Take that high school English.

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